Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Always make the first move
In high school there was a girl (well, many, but let’s keep it simple) who was out of my league. Good looking, lots of friends, lots of boyfriends, I stared at her a lot, I barely knew her. Just before graduation, I called her up and we became friends. 10 years later she tells me she really liked me in high school but thought I was out of her league. Thought that my lonerness was me being smart and seeing our high school class for the wankers they were (it was actually me being a wanker myself). The deepest kind of regret is seeing how clearly I deceived myself in circles on top of circles until I could talk myself out of anything, be scared of everything, and end up with nothing. I’ll never again have the same kind of chances to have reckless teen romance or to learn the hard and fun way things that I’ve now learned slowly and adultly. Always make the first move, never look back.
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2 comments:
I remember feeling regretful about my high school days even when I was in high school. I'm sure one day I'll feel the same about my late twenties.
Regret can be helpful if it spurs you not to repeat mistakes, but it can also be addicting and toxic.
I recommend a walk outdoors or hot chocolate with a friend.
For the record, HE'S A FUCKING WHALE. No one is out of his league.
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