PSA - 9 Volt Batteries, Take 1

A gentleman just shy of thirty is sleeping in his bed, all is dark, all is quiet, the clock ticks from 2:34 to 2:35. Then a beep. And a pause. And another short shrill beep. The man stirs and starts and sits up. BEEP. Close up on the smoke detector and a blinking red light. It's low on batteries. The man gets out of bed and rummages through his drawers and closets, tossing AA batteries and BEEP even AAA batteries all over the place, and finally breaking down in the corner of the closet BEEP. Voice over begins: Nothing short of a nuclear bomb will stop that beeping. Nothing, that is, except a replacement 9 volt battery. And since no goddam thing except a smoke detector uses a 9 volt battery, you're not likely to have one around. So take care to get a spare 9 volt battery, because smoke detectors only run out of batteries in the middle of the night, and they don't take American Express.