overheard at a holiday party

"Not to be crass, but if someone's got to fuck my daughter, it might as well be this guy."

The Classic Whale Channel

In this episode, it's Christmas day, the fourth day of a four day weekend, and I have to choose and then navigate through an activity for the day. Since I received a $10 gift card to any Regal cinema at my work holiday party, I decide I will see a movie (Juno), something I never do due to the outrageous price and Netflix. To see Juno and use my gift card, I need to skip the closest theatre (not a Regal) and go a bit further, but still within a reasonable distance. When I arrive, I realize that I'm actually going to a matinee, whose cost is $7.50, as opposed to the $10 regular price. My choice is to either use my giftcard and be stuck with $2.50 on the card, or to pay my own way and save the giftcard for the next time I go to a full fare show at the Regal, when I can use my gift all in one shot. This dramatic moment has first time viewers of this channel on the edge of their seats, but those familiar with the show have no doubt guessed correctly that I choose option two, leading to the result of my paying for a movie that I had decided to see mostly because I would not have to pay for it. A classic end to a classic episode.
In the closing credits, viewers find out I liked Juno very much, and Ellen Page even more.