Caulk me Amadeus

I've got a bathtub full of chrane, and all the gefilte fish in the world couldn't make it go down easy. The problem is the caulk. Fucking caulk. Well, the problem is deeper than that. When I bought the condo I knew the tub had to be replaced. What I didn't know was that it would cost several thousand dollars, so I have not done it yet. But when the estimator came to estimate the thousands, he clued me in to what I also didn't know, and that was that the caulk was fucked up, proving a more pressing fucking piece of concern than the fucked up tub. Since then I didn't do shit, cause that's what I do, but tonight in my boredom I decided to look up how I might do it myself, and found that it's complicated to recaulk, so I probably wouldn't dare, but that having leaky caulk isn't good for anybody, let alone the person who actually owns the place of fucked caulk. So I'll be up all night worrying that I'm mildewing my place to pieces. If I was renting I wouldn't give a flying fucking shit. But look at big old me, owning my place, and drowning in chrane.